Flash Fiction! “We are gathered here today…”

I’m having fun with this flash fiction thing. Here ya’ go:
“Ladies and gentlemen…. ssssssssss…. we are gathered here….. sssssss….. today, to celebrate the union between…. sssssss…. Gerry and Deanna.”
It was obvious, as a master scuba diver myself, that this Pastor was not very experienced. The watery, gasping, sucking sound that he was producing with every breath— breaths that were coming too often, by the way— that was a mark of a beginner. But how many Pastors were experienced divers, willing to marry a couple underwater?
“Deanna, can you give me a minute? I… uhhhhh… I drank a Coke right before we dove.”
“A coke? What the hell were you thinking, Gerry? You know you can’t keep that sugar in your system.”
“I promise. I’ll be right back.” With that, Gerry swam off, a trail of bubbles and a faint yellowish tint escaping from his wetsuit. He disappeared behind a large formation of coral.
“Sssssssss… as we wait… sssssss… perhaps we can…. sssssssss….”
“Pastor, I think you better just suck on that air and take a break. Or there’s not going to be a wedding,” I said. The last thing we needed was for the Pastor to pass out.
Several minutes passed. Gerry was taking forever. I mean, it was just a piss, right?
“I’m going to check on him,” huffed Deanna through her mask.
As she swam towards the underwater formation, something happened. In a flash, what could only be described as a mermaid rocketed out from behind the coral where Gerry had went. The woman… the mermaid, I guess… she was pulling her bottom coverings up over her— her tail? She disappeared in a flourish, gone as fast as she came.
“What in the HELL? Gerry!!!!!!!!” Deanna was screaming, bubbles escaping and rushing towards the surface. “I thought you were done with goddamn mermaids! We’ve talked about this! And on our wedding day?!?!”
The pastor looked at me. I looked at him. Never thought I’d see a mermaid. Let alone a mermaid ruin a wedding.


Now… the required pieces in this Flash Fiction piece:

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