Crocodiles and Monkeys! Part One.

No this post isn’t about Steve Irwin. Or Bindi, for that matter.

It’s about three characters named Nick, Joe and Lexi. And they had a dream… a dream to touch a monkey.

And touch one, they did.

The time was fall, 2011.

The place was Costa Rica.

The weather was balmy.

And the mood was… hung over.

Late the previous night, the group had experienced something called “Disco.”

Disco involved staying up late. And moving vigorously to music. All while drinking multicolored beverages that made you say weird things.

Disco should be avoided when the Monkey Tour leaves at 8.

Nick took one look at that long pier and immediately said, “I’m not going.” After much consideration, two glasses of milk… and one ham-and-egg sandwich, he did.

Suddenly, on the long trek towards land, a woman appeared. A woman… that Joe vaguely recognized from the evening before. Nick and Lexi immediately identified her as the Disco Singer— the main culprit during the festivities of the evening before. Quickly, Joe posed for a photo… for evidence.

On the pier, the group met their guide. She was identified by a sign that read, “Nick Party”… which was awkward, not only because of the woman holding the sign, but because it would normally read, “Nick Parties”… which is more accurate.

On the van ride to the monkey farm, Joe asked the guide how she enjoyed living in Costa Rica. She replied, “Well, I was born in Nicaragua. I moved to California and then got deported because they said I was an illegal. My kids are still there. And I just got this job about two months ago, right after I got out of prison. I miss my kids. But Costa Rica is great.”

Nobody bothered to ask why she was in prison. In fact, nobody bothered to ask any more questions the rest of the day.

Lexi, Nick or Joe had never been in the presence of an ex-con. So, out of pure excitement and wanting to taste adventure before they even got to the monkey farm, they asked their tour guide/illegal immigrant/former prisoner/new friend to pose for a photo. You can tell by the nervous smiles that everyone in the photo knew what was happening.

Upon arrival at the monkey farm, Joe and Nick looked at each other and realized that the monkeys were shy. Or were they just afraid of Lexi?

Soon, it was determined that the monkeys did enjoy Lexi very much, indeed. Perhaps too much.

Just like with Nick, if you provide a monkey food, he will soon arrive.

It quickly became clear that Joe was communicating with the monkeys on an entirely different level than anyone else in the group.

This photo is what has earned Joe the nickname “The Monkey Whisperer”. It’s still not clear what secrets the monkey was telling Joe in this photo. Both subjects refuse to tell us. However, whatever it was must have been a riot.

Nick was still feeling the effects of “Disco” which had wrapped up mere hours prior to the monkey encounter. All could tell by his breath, his smell… and his stumbling. Photographic evidence of his condition was found in the following photographs. No sober man could make these faces:

Before the group had even learned the name of one monkey, it was time to leave. But not before a weird alien species arrived. Looking like the hybrid of a raccoon, monkey and ant-eater…

The weird little creatures had a particular affection towards Lexi, who was harboring food.

And then it was time to leave the monkey farm. And head to the crocodile farm, with a quick stop at the flower plantation.

All of that will be presented tomorrow, in a special two-part edition. We know how you love those!

Until tomorrow, we hope you’ve enjoyed today’s silly little post about our great trip to Costa Rica!

Nick. Joe. Pete.

By the way… yesterday was NATIONAL POPCORN DAY! And we missed it! So, in honor of belated NATIONAL POPCORN DAY, won’t you please post this on your Facebook wall for us? It would mean the world to our efforts to make our first Children’s Book, Pete the Popcorn, a success. Thank you so much!

Yesterday was National Popcorn Day. Pete the Popcorn is a brand new Children’s Book being released February 29th, 2012. The authors are really funny, cool guys and would appreciate your help in spreading the word. Please re-post this and go to to LIKE PETE! Now go eat some popcorn!


By the way… to the folks on Facebook that wanted my opinion on ANIMAL PRINTS:

I just think animal prints are a little bit excessive.

Love ya- Joe.


3 comments on “Crocodiles and Monkeys! Part One.

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